My mother sends links from America Online. She doesn’t know how to change a subject line, so they all come labeled like Chinese spam. Yesterday:

Check out 10 Reasons To Stop Drinking Coffee - AOL Health

Yeah, I checked that out. It included the above image, to accompany Reason 3:

“people who drink too much coffee could start seeing ghosts or hearing strange voices!  Students in the study who drank more than seven cups of instant coffee each day were three times more likely to hallucinate than people who drank one cup.”

I wrote back to my mother, and replied all. Because both my sister and father might have been worried, too:

“I can promise you that I will quit consuming caffeine while I am pregnant. Additionally, I can promise you that coffee was not to blame for any hallucinations I may have ever experienced. So, rest easy?”

An hour later, Hannah replied:

“I refuse to read this article.”

So that’s us! We are the best daughters, and I am not even fooling.